Legal responsibility of father and son

I was forced to marry my childs
mother when I was 18. It was
either marry her or not see my
only son. I married her, and two
hours later, she took my son and
left. We had never lived
together, we were annulled
within a year. I remarried a
couple of years later and have
been married every since. My
problem is that my son is know
16 years old, he has visited me
twice, once when he was 8 for
one month and two years again
for 3 days, for my brothers
funeral. I have been trying to get
his mother to let him live with
me for years, she does not have
him, her mother has him, and he
has been living with his
gradmother for several years.
Even though my wife and I want
him to live with us, his mother
still refuses. I have been paying
child support for years. Even
when the state dropped the
support, I continued to pay. Now
the grandmother has filed
support on me and not on her
daughter. AR state informed me,
that she had a right to file
support on whomever she chose
to. I don't see how that is fair to
me, that I have to pay support
on a child I am not allowed to
see. And I mean not allowed, I
was told by the grandmother
that since I divorced her
daughter, I also divorced my son.
As much as I love my son, I don't
feel I should have to pay support
on a child I am not allowed to
see or be with. Why should I pay
on a child that I want to be with
me, and the mother and the
child (who seems to be angry
with me)are against it. I have a
wife that I have been married to
for over 12 years, we have 5 kids
in our home, and have been on
time with the support payments,
yet have been hit with over $
3000 in back support for support
that has already been paid. I was
told that even if I terminate my
rights, I still have to pay support.
Where is the justice for fathers. I
want to be a true father to my
son, but the state just requires
that my money. Why can't I get
my son. It would be easier for
my to take care of him here with
the rest of the children and I
would not need support from his
mother, since she is not required
to pay support anyway. How do I
seek justice?